Expense and investment

Running summary for w/c 11th June
Miles: 18.8
Cross training: A lot of cycling

I have been a very bad blogger and a very bad jogger… it’s been almost a month since I last posted on here!

The truth is that my relationship with my trainers has been a pretty strained one over the last few months, as I have written about a little on this blog. A couple of times I really felt like I’d rekindled my running romance (like that brilliant parkrun), or I thought that I had found a way to spice things up again (like that commuter run). I even went to such drastic lengths as inviting someone else along on my long sunday run, but my enthusiasm just didn’t last. I had really and truly lost my mojo.

Last Sunday was the first fixture of the Summer League, a series of 10K and 5 mile races hosted by several London running clubs. I knew I had to go – many of our team mates were away running in the Welsh Castles relay and we needed the numbers to get team points – but the idea of racing 6.2 miles terrified me. Training runs had continued to feel tough, my confidence was still severely dented from a few duff runs, and the fear of coming last (I maintain that this is always a possibility) loomed all too large. I had barely run at all in the fortnight before, choosing instead to cycle around London looking for my lost mojo, and so I am not exagerating at all when I say that I was scared shitless on the start line.

I ran really well and even bagged myself a shiny new PB of 52:44, evidence of how effective crosstraining can be when you’re not running for whatever reason. But even then I still didn’t feel like I had my mojo back…

After the 10K race I milled around the park chatting with some team mates and fell into conversation with one particularly fantastic female runner who had run 3:08:24 in the 2012 London Marathon (yes, you read that time right). We were chatting about losing your mojo after a race, as she had also struggled after the VLM, when she said something that really resonated with me:

“But my fitness came at the expense of 60 miles a week”.

That word “expense” sums it all up. When you are in the middle of training, feeling positive and focused on your goal you think of the energy you put into training as an investment. But once the race is over and the high has waned ploughing your time and effort back into training suddenly doesn’t seem so positive. What was once an investment suddenly feels like an expense.

I assumed that once I started running again everything would slot back into place, but not only do I have to build up my physical fitness, I also have to build back up my willingness to run. I’m not going to find my mojo again because it never existed in the first place. What I thought was my mojo was actually just momentum, and now I just need to get myself back into the swing of it.


3 thoughts on “Expense and investment

  1. You should scroll up to the top of this page, click on “About the Red Head” and remind yourself why you choose to run. That might help nudge you back into momentum!

    Chin up pet, you’ll come back sprinting!


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